Emma Weylin

Things have been really busy. Pink finished her first year of home-school – and passed! Pink and Bugs have both been enrolled for another year, which meant doctors appointments and all that fun stuff.
I got another year older, and so did the husband, and we’ve been married for one more year as well. Zeke’s hematoma on his ear is a thing of the past. And the Summer “Clean” project had begun. I have to restart my stop smoking effort, and I’ve been crocheting like mad.
This last week has been the real killer, though. Piggy, Pink’s cat, had to be rushed to the kitty ER last Sunday because his bladder had swelled shut. He’s been sick for a week and refuses to eat his cat food, so I’ve been hand feeding him baby food. He gets a little better everyday, but I still worry that he’s not okay. It will be a good day when he’s finally our Piggy again. Anyway, that’s the current update and I will be posting pictures of all my yarn projects soon.

It’s not like I really keep track of the good things he does for me, but today he was especially wonderful. I am a smoker, and in trying to quite, I have been looking at my behavioral patterns. It’s an amazing thing. If I am typing I don’t smoke, and if I have some kind of craft in my hands, I don’t smoke. Since I can’t bring my keyboard with me everywhere, my dear Hubby thought it would be a good idea for me to have some kind of yarn project with me. Be it crochet or knitting. For the house I can do my large knitting loom or machine projects, but on car trips or general days out, he thought it would be good for me to be able to take a ball of yarn and whatever tool I’d need to keep my hands and my mind busy so I don’t reach for that smoke. What makes him so wonderful about that? He bought me a stash of cool stuff today. I got a full set of crochet hooks, except the really tiny once, but they are on my list of things to get. I got a fully set of circular knitting needles and a fully set of double pointed needles (except the really small ones, 0, 00, and 000) He also got me another set of Knifty Knitter looms in another brand (My small clips to make the short loom even shorter fit on them!), since my children somehow managed to break a few of my looms. I still don’t know what they were doing to them. I also got a hairpin lace loom and two jumbo knitting needles (size 35) for my broom stick lace projects. Then of course I needed new yarn to play with all my new toys. All in all, I made out a like a bandit today, and it’s all because the hubby loves me so much. He got major bonus points today. It really is too bad I don’t keep track, or he’d be ahead of the game.

Emailing with a person I shall refer to as SS to keep her privacy intact has come to an end. I can’t say that I am surprised with the childishness she had displayed, in fact, I was expecting it. The lack of logic was astounding and the ability of cruel and unfounded speak was equally awesome. SS has made accusation about another specific member of my family and has until now refused to give any specific information. SS continued to priest that I get information to prove or discredit her accusation from two people she considers to be pathological liars. How stupid is that? When I did finally go to one of the said individuals, I suddenly became a liar because she didn’t want me talking with that said person. The whole situation has left me pissed off and angry at SS, to the point she is no longer in my life. Should she one day decide to accept parts of reality she refuses to admit too, I will then take into considerations developing a new relationship with her. Until then, she is out. I do not want her to know anything about me or my family aside from what she might be able to find on this website. Since she doesn’t know my pen name at this time, it is not likely she will find it, though I don’t know for sure.

If SS should happen to find this and read it, I will say this. I do not hate you. I feel sorry for you and for your children. You are a hypocrite. You expect one type of behavior toward you and refused to give the same type of difference to anyone else. You are delusional. Get help. Your inability to accept reality as it is, is disturbing. You cannot expect me to believe any accusation you might make against anyone until you can accept and acknowledge your own past behaviors. You call everyone expect maybe two people liars. If the whole world is lying to you, then perhaps it is in your perception of reality and not what is actually happening. Think long and hard about yourself. Mental illness does run in your blood line, it may be a wise decision to get that checked out so you may receive the help you so desperately need.

I have sought professional help for the things in my past and it has helped me greatly. I am not asking you to do things I have not done myself. I have admitted to you my own wrong doings only to have it thrown in my face and to have you question my character. I have many questions about your character, yet I have not once thrown that in to your fact until you became nasty and vindictive. I hope you do find truth in your life. You need it, though it might be the truth you want.

I am sorry this is so cryptic, but I will not air anyone’s dirty laundry on the internet but my own. Comments to this topic are monitored like any other, just so SS knows.

Zeke got home yesterday morning without too many complications, other than the giant cone they put on his head didn’t fit well into our little car. I found out two things about my dog. 1. He’s over 100 pounds by two. 2. He has the ability to make a building shake when he barks. This is going to sound bad, but my dog has a prejudicious against Pitt Bulls. Let me explain, we have two Pitt Bulls that live two houses over from us. They get out occasionally and they like to come into my yard where my kids are playing. These two dogs are the reason Pitt Bulls have a bad name. They a mean and vicious and one went after my husband once. Zeke chased them off without even getting into a dog fight (Not how he ended up with the Hemotoma). Since then, Zeke has decided Pitt Bull=Bad. He is happy and friendly with everyone else on the planet – well, unless he’s breaking up a fight between the cats, but that is another story.

To get back on track, he came home yesterday. The girls of course nearly Mother-Hened him to death. He wasn’t even allowed to eat from his own bowl, as the girls decided to feed him his kibble one tiny piece at time. He’s accepted that he no longer has the freedom or the ability to sniff someone’s butt at the moment. All of this he takes in stride. It’s almost as if nothing happened to him, though he does enjoying using the width of his Elizabethan collar as a battering ram. I think he seeks out things he can crash into because he knows I won’t yell at him for it while he’s on the injured list.

We took him with us to my parent’s house for dinner. I was sure he and my father’s dog would get along, but the little Boston Terrier wanted nothing to do with that giant thing on his head! So I had to shut Zeke in the “dog” room while we ate dinner, and then everyone went outside with him afterwards.

He had a great time, even though I wouldn’t let him run and play too much. Doesn’t he look like he had a great time? He was giving my husband Paw, to try to get him to take the leash off so he could run on my parent’s 53 acres of land.

He is truly an amazing dog and we love him very much.

My Rottweiler/German Shepherd mix. Zeke The Hero has a wound: A Hemotoma on his ear. Pink is in a total meltdown because he had to stay with the vet overnight. Part of it is her usual drama and part of it is that she is really upset. It’s just on his ear, and the vet isn’t worried about it. It just needs to be fixed. Kids and pets. Part fun, part OH MY GOD!

In my house we have one rule. You don’t get to feel good about yourself unless you’ve earned it! The only way any one – in my opinion – is allowed to like who they are and what they are doing, is to actually be doing something to make themselves proud. If you can pick up after yourself and keep yourself clean, then you can feel good about how you look and the status of your room. If you can’t do something, but tired your best, then you can feel good about your effort. I really don’t see how or why people need to feel good about themselves unless there is a tangible reason for it.

It’s been three days since I last heard from SS and I have yet to get a response from her. I emailed her again tonight, so we’ll see where that takes us.
In other news, it is so freaking hot today, I swear, the stuffed animals my kids of in their school room were sweating. It’s not even May yet, and it’s already this hot? I shudder to think of what it will be like in the middle of August. Ugh, I don’t like supper cold weather and I really don’t like supper hot weather. But it looks like I am going to be tortured this year with the mega hot weather. Oh well, that’s life.

Content edited to protect the stupid.

I have decided that there are a lot of things I need to change about me. Nothing too drastic, just enough so that I can be exactly who I want to be. So, this is my goal list, and while I know I won’t be able to make any real changes over night, at least I will know what I am working toward.

It’s something I should do anyway. It’s not healthy, and I will probably be able to get more stuff stuff if I am not coughing all the time.

I’ve come up with the wonderful idea. If I limit my caffeine intake, then, I might actually be able to sleep when I want to. Novel concept, I know.
Get my house clean and Organized.
Now, I have two children and four pets. This might be a little more difficult then I want it to be, but if I stop thinking that *I* have to do it all by myself, and get the others in the house to help me, who knows, I might have a totally clean house for five minutes instead of just one room at a time!

I am pretty good with scheduling my time, but I need to make sure that not only do I write on any given day, but that I also edit. That is the MOST important part of writing. I can do a rough draft, now I need to aim for a finished draft.

I think that is enough for now. I can add and change things as needed. I might put up a page for each of my personal goals, but we will see how that goes and as time permits.

Today we did the summer shopping. I think my kids have gone mental. They literally ran circles around me and my husband in the stores we went to. I realize they need to get outside to play more, but wow, I mean really, wow. And then were we were going for the dinner was an argument and then they weren’t happy with what they picked. It’s one of those I am darned if I do and darned if I don’t situations. I hate being in them, but at least the shopping is done, and I don’t have to worry about it again until school season. I would like to try to get a chapter done tonight. It’s been a few days since I’ve done any serious writing, and I need to at least get this short story I am working on, of course it all depends on if I get phone calls or not while I am trying to write. We’ll see what happens.

I think I have finally lost it. I have opened up email communication with my eldest sister. She has left me more confused then I was before and with far more questions then she is willing to answer. I need those questions answer for me to be able to believe what she wants me to. I know it’s harsh that I don’t automatically believe her, but there are too many things that are not adding up in my mind. What do I do with this? She wants to talk on IM, and I am going to let it happen once, just to see how it goes. I need these answers, but at the same time, I know the answers I will get may not change the conclusions I have already come to on my own. I will have to think about what I should do with this.