Emma Weylin

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Yes boys and girls it’s that time of insanity I mean year of again!  It’s where you write an “insane” amount of words in 30 days.  50,000 to be exact.  Which roughly means 1,667 words a day (because 30 doesn’t divide into 50,000 evenly it’s really difficult to write the remainder word every day )

Really, it’s a moot point for me to participate in the fun and games.  I average 5,000 words a day (a full chapter when seriously writing a novel draft.)  Which means I should be able to knock out two complete novels in 30 days (75,000 words-ish a each).  Yes, boys and girls, that means I can 150,000 readable words in a month–that was for those of you with low reading comprehension which will be the subject of a later post.  Really, for as much reading as a person must do in this age of the internet it’s appalling at the low comprehension level of grown (pre-dumbing down) adults!  But I am getting off on a tangent and this is about the fun of writing an insane mount of words.

So why is this such a big deal for aspiring novelist around the globe?  Despite what writing gurus will tell you there is a process to writing the perfect novel.

• Part One: The daydream phase. It usually starts out with the writer (that’s you) daydreaming about something fantastical happening to you.

• Part Two: The daydreamer realizes this is an impossible course of events so they make up characters to slip into the slots of the people already populating the story.

• Part Three:  Take it or leave it, but this should be the planning phase. I personally can’t do part three because my best work comes with about 1 minute of daydreaming, 10 minutes of character prep and 30 seconds of planning.  I usually have the beginning in huge omnimax visual in my head.  I usually have a tiny inkling of the cataclysmic ending.

• Part Four: Translating the visual in your head to the accursed plain white screen with the laughing, I mean, blinking courser in front of you.  This is where NaNoWriMo comes to the rescue.  There a many, many, way to many to count, people who believe they should be cranking out perfect first drafts.  IT DOESN”T HAPPEN!  There, now you know, so lock your internal editor in strong, titanium box and feed her scraps off the table (you don’t want to kill her, just shut her up for this process) and go back to your “blank” page and start typing. Maybe the words come easy and maybe they don’t, but write.  The story and your subconscious can’t build on what’s not there.

“But I have to edit while I write!” I hear the whining now.  Stop.  My kids whine less about more  important things.  You can’t because you won’t. Yep, that’s right, you can’t just blaze though a rough draft because you WON’T do it.

Think about this.

No novel was ever written perfectly on the first draft.

No novel. Meaning none for those comprehensive deficients out there.

Why take two years to write an imperfect drwaft?  Write the novel in 30 days or less (Yes, check your typing speed.) You should be capable of typing at least 30 words per minute.  That’s 1,800 words an hour.  Divide that by 2 for thinking time and you have 900 words an hour! In just two hours a day that’s 1,800 words or well on your way to a rough draft in 15 days!  Personally, I have too much other crap to do in a day so I aim my mark at 500 words in fifteen minutes.  2000 in an hour or a full chapter of 5,000-ish in 2 1/2 hours a day.

“But I can’t devote that much time!”

Come on people!  You’re dream is be a published author!  2 1/2 hours a day is 17 1/2 hours per week (no, you don’t get weekends and holidays off!)  That’s less then a part time job. Isn’t your dream worth at least that much time?

Get that difficult first draft out!

There!

Now you can move onto part 5

• Part Five: Editing.  Wait a month (or 12 if you prefer) and catch the little muse who has been jumping around your desk for the last month and gently (you have to be careful with her as her feels are easily hurt) and put her in a nice doll house room you created just for her.  Make sure to give her crayons and paper so she can get started on your next story when you go back to the titanium box you trapped the editor in.  Be careful when opening it. She’s ravenous!  Those table scraps were nearly enough to keep her satisfied during the last month.  Make sure you have a thick, juicy rough draft manuscript in hand to avoid being bitten!  She will take a long time to work though that manuscript, but when she’s done, she’ll have devoured all the “bad” parts of your rough draft.  Commented (and demanded) what needs to be change and what needs to say.

• Part Six:  The actual edit.  Now that your internal editor isn’t pissed off at you anymore, now you hack into your “baby” manuscript and work it until it’s a beautiful young novel ready for the next phase (This can take longer for some than it does others, but it’s where the bulk of your writing process should be as this is the process that will make the work publishable.)

• Part Seven:  Synopsis and Query letter.

• Part Eight:  Get that agent and submit your work

• Part Nine:  Start over while waiting to hear what’s going to happen with your first manuscript.

The writing process in a nut shell and why I get irritated with anyone who can’t won’t chill out and just get the draft done.  Really, the perfect novel happens faster this way.

Now if I could only motivate myself to edit faster. . .

The husband and I had a big fight today. You know the kind. You’re crying. He’s angry and feeling like a super jerk, but can’t quite pull his head out of his ass because he has valid points, but you’re still crying because your feelings are deeply hurt.  Yeah, we’ve all been there. It feels like hell and all you really want to do is commiserate with someone who knows how much pain you are feeling when Prince Charming turns back into a toad.

So, Mister Toad Charming was being an über jerk today.  It happens. He’s male. He gets his bastard/asshole/jackass or whatever you call it moments because that allows me my bitch moments. However, there is a point where they cross the line from be allowed their male PMS to just being a total and complete bastard and you need to call them on it. There were tears.  He explains his POV, but I still felt as if he’d not heard or validated my feeling in the matter, so the fight spiraled out until we were just plain miserable.

I took a cigarette break. (Nope, still haven’t kicked that  habit yet) and while I was puttering around on my computer, my boss called.  (He’s not really my boss, but for lack of a better term that doesn’t require it’s own post, we’ll just call him that.)  I was supposed to get something done today, and totally forgot to get it done because I was fighting with Toad Charming. He asked if everything was OK and I dutifully broke down into tears and told him no, everything was NOT OK and that I had somehow managed to marry a bastard.  He’s a friend to both of us, and to  his MAJOR credit, he very calmly, but firmly reminded me of all the things Dear Toad Charming is going through, from heart problems, to a broken foot that won’t heal, elbow problems (Ones he’s already had surgery on) and carpal tunnel troubles.  Then he consoled me about the fight, because he understood those could be upsetting, but that it was going to be OK because Toad Charming DOES love me and I DO love him.

I’ve done the same exact thing to a writing cohort of mine on numerous occasions when she’s had trouble in paradise, and to my utter and total bemused amazement, I almost instantly felt better.  At least to the point where Toad Charming was at least a prince again.  After I felt better, I then felt guilty because I wasn’t being considerate of the husband’s feelings, but, well, we worked that out after I got done with what I needed to do, and then helped the boss man get a little more work done while he distracted me for a bit.

So, what is the proper etiquette when you’re married friends are fighting?  Don’t automatically agree the “offending” party is a Jerk/Jackass/Bitch/Bastard (whatever term applies) give the party you are speaking to an accurate assessment of what’s really happening. Validate the “injured” party’s feelings, but don’t let them get away with partner bashing.  Men are not all evil and Women aren’t all infallible goddesses. Women are not all evil and Men aren’t all infallible gods.  We just are what we are and it was wonderful to have someone remind me of that when all I wanted to do was cry to someone about how horrible my husband was.

In the end, the husband and I made up.  We understand what the issues are [now] and how to work with them and around them until they can be fully resolved.  The next time Prince Charming turns into a toad, I know who I am calling—and it’s not one of my girl friends.  It’s the man who understands the proper etiquette for when you’re married friends are fighting.

We went to another of Dad’s gigs with Rheme Cleo today.  Let me tell you it was HOT!  We did enjoy the band (as in Rheme Cleo, not the others so much.)  The girls got to play and generally run around and be kids.  After four hours, we decided it was time to go. We didn’t want to be there when the head liners got there with about 2000 of their fans in a space less than half the size of a football field.  But I did manage to get a good pic of the husband!

And a good one of Dad — Where you can see his face!  If you can actually see it through all the hair…